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Orn's thoughts
I commit these thoughts to writen words.
After many months with this group, and I cant imagine finer folk to be traveling down this road with. However I feel that I should be doing more. There are things that I vaguely remember from my childhood, taught to me by my detested father, while I called Norland home.
The ways of my kin say a mother who died giving birth is a noble hero, and she gave birth to a son at that. One would assume a man like my father would feel honored and blessed, instead of spiteful, and cruel.
I cant help but think back to that last beating I received from him, even if I did kind a earned it by sneaking on to his raiding boat as child. Blast that sea sickness. I can still remember the point when the raid fleet was attacked near Calimshan shores, and the ship sinking underneath me. I can recall awaking in the home of Fabron and his daughter Adela, and when I first met Wiltummil in Ormpur. But not once can I remember seeing my father's loving smile.
Ah but at last not to get carried away I need to train, maybe I should ask the others for assistance, maybe some sparring matches?
"Follow where I go" he says, and I follow twin tracks in the snow. Curving and banking past the evergreens, he turns, lighting fast, and shoots. Swift as a serpent through the air. And it thuds home, I cannot see where "stay on your toes!" he orders, and with a swish of fir branches, he is gone. I follow, tracking as I can, as if one could track a god; it is only that I know he wishes to be found that I have any hope.- excerpt of In Praise of Uller
Master of rain and torrents, son of the strength of the Mother Earth, I ask you to grant me that strength for myself.

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Session xx (09-26-2018) - Mistmi's Musings
Hello silence, it's been a while. I can't say as I've missed you. Missed the echos of a voice I should remember, calling out for help. Missed the feeling of something missing, a small void that never seems to be filled. I get lost in my head, in that void, more often these days. It was a nice break while it lasted.

Focus on the now...It's been quite the productive journey as of late. Our allies are growing, our travel now quickened by portals (thanks to the Harper network). Roshim has a new weapon. I hope it helps to keep him alive. He's always in the middle of the fray these days. I fear one of these times his goddess won't roll the dice in his favor. I couldn't bare to lose him. Or Zuke. Or any of our motley crew, if I'm honest. But Roshim...he's just so brash lately. I wonder if the strain of this lifestyle is getting to him. If this manic attitude is his way of coping. He calls it embracing the chaos. I call it insanity (almost).

...There it is again, that voice...who are you!?
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Canto of Black Flame, Proffer 81
Under dark and burning skies
Shell of shale and ossein
From yolk of embers, it shall rise
The lord of umbral flame


The one reborn, its wrath unleashed
Rejoice! Bear witness, birth of death
This land, in flames and ashes sheathed
Repent! Drink down, extinction's breath
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Travel Journal - Various
Wow, that last page was harsh. That is why I should not write angry.

That was what, a month ago? So where are we now in relation to then that isn't a catalogue of traveling? I don't mind being on the road or anything, but given the fact that I don't have a destination in mind it might take away a little bit the excitement of arrival.

Ori and Leffy took the wagon back to Waterdeep, and took Sadie along with them. No part of me thinks that it wasn't the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean I'm not noticing her absence.

[This section of the page is filled with crossed-out false starts of sentences.]

This is dumb. This is dumb and I know it's dumb but I'm doing it anyways. I'm not supposed to get attached, because once I do it gets taken away or denied. Once they know what I really am they'll leave, just like everyone else.

For the first time I'm not buying trinkets and presents as an act of contrition, to smooth over some rift I've formed in a traveling group. I'm actually thinking about what to get them, what they might enjoy. My god, I've been with them long enough know that kind of information.

Once I tell them, show them why I can do what I do it'll be over. They won't want me around, or even on the same continent. I don't blame them for it, far from it. Getting rid of me will be the most sensible thing they can do for themselves in the long run. The more powerful I become, the bigger of a target I become for that... that thing. Nobody ever seems to care about the long game though when it comes to me. No matter the region, no matter the race, it's a sad reality that when it comes to self-preservation almost everyone is exactly the same.

I'll be back to being an apostate. Heretic. Vile. Outcast. It's always touching how creative people can get with words when they want to do nothing but tear you down.

I don't expect any of them to act this way, for the record. Despite their individual quirks they are for all intents good, nice people. They'll be nice about it, maybe try to break camp and leave while I sleep some night. It's happened before, and I can't really be angry at it anymore.

I'm not mad at them, and I don't blame them. I want to make sure they're safe, no matter what. Even if that safety means they have to turn me out. I know they're going to end up doing the same thing, even if for once I really, actually care if they do or not.

But if they mean anything to me at all, I owe it to them to do this.
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Tags: Recap
Traveling Journal: To Cryptgarden - Part two of good fucking gods.
So, depth. Depth is good. Depth is usually good, right?

We are out of our fucking depth. We are so out of our depth that it isn't fucking funny.

Speaking of funny? Woodbridge, that sleepy little nowhere just outside of Cryptgarden? Yeah, just an inconsequential little farming town where the owner of the only tavern in town owns EVERYTHING and has a goddamn undead army.

I don't even know what to do with this information. Do I tell someone? I told the group, but the odds aren't great they know what to do with it either.

Oh, speaking of information we met the dragon we were supposed to find. After getting beaten to paste by a couple of Cyclopse.. Cyclopi? Cyclopusses. Whatever. The dragon didn't seem to much care for the gift that Roshim brought her, but accepted the cow he brought along in addition to us killing the giants in her territory. Roshim kept the painting, and for all I care he can keep it in that bag. I made the mistake of looking into it knowing full well what I would see... who I would see.

She tasked us with going farther north to some temple for the Allfather. I'd love to know what that entails, but I don't know the first thing about giants and religion.

Oh, and she wanted us to find a Frost Giant that would help us. Or kill us, I don't really know. I'm sure that won't result in us nearly dying later.

Fuck, religion. I forgot. Did I mention I'm talking to Lathandar again? Because I am. I'm not happy about this, about ANY of this... but if I hadn't stood between our group and the enemy recently I doubt any of us would have walked away from it.

It's been over a hundred years since I last talked to him. Him, her, it. Whatever. I haven't been happy with him leaving us to be robbed and murdered by bandits, and made sure to let him know when we spoke. This isn't just me agreeing to serve him. This is a partnership. I am going to protect these clothed lemmings as they go from near-death event to near-death event and he is going to give me the abilities to do so.

I still have Dria's symbol. It's old and tarnished but at least it's with me.

At least a part of her is still with me.

I am trying to be positive about this. I am trying to walk in the light and not let these people be hurt and not be a piece of shit every day of my life. They don't seem to notice, or even care. Or raise an eyebrow that Shithead Mitch is suddenly wearing armor and carrying a sword and shield and casting spells commonly used by a Paladin...

Nope. Nope. I'm not going to be angry about this. I am going to sincerely fucking try not to be angry about this.

On the plus side, there might not be many days left to worry about! Did I mention there were MORE fucking giants? Because there were! After the forest and somehow living through all of THAT nonsense we found YET ANOTHER GIANT on Stonebridge.

Also, Woodbridge. Stonebridge. Seriously? If we come across a Bridgebridge I'm burning it to the ground.

So yeah, now Fire Giants are running around the world openly as well. That's great. That's super fucking great. Because someone who uses almost exclusively fire, that received their power from a forgotten being of living FIRE is super useful against a creature that is probably made of and sexually attracted to FIRE.

After all of that, guess what we find? ANOTHER GIANT.

Oh but no, this one wants to talk. This one is apparently from Waterdeep and works with humans and was tracking the Fire Giant we killed. In addition, he's going to help us get north to this temple or some teleportation circle or something.

We're not ready for this, not by a long shot. We need stronger weapons and magic. We need thicker shields and supplies to help us survive the increasing cold.

I'm writing angry. I don't normally do this, but hey. Between podunk towns that don't have anything more complicated than farming equipment and constantly eating shit standing between giants and everything else in the world and this group I'm in a lovely goddamn mood.

They're alive. I'm alive. My chicken is safe.

And for once? It doesn't feel like enough.

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