you are viking raiders

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It is the beginning
It was an innocent night. One not cause for alarm. The moon's light drifted in through our open windows as we laid upon each other, soaking up its brightness. He said to me, "Darling, I could never love another like I love you" while his large hand caressed my cheek I could easily make out each ripple of the scars surrounding his lips. The hair lining his jaw growing in thick tickled my skin as he rubbed his face against mine. We made passionate love that night and held each other until we heard banging at the door. I told him to not go look, that it was just some drunkards making a ruckus. But he went anyway, the brave, noble man he was. I wrapped the bedding around myself, still slick with sweat and poked my head into the foyer.

I could barely see them cloaked in shadow as they unsheathed their swords and stabbed my husband, each man taking his fill. I ran back into our bedroom to grab for a weapon and ran out screaming and swinging at these men. They ran into the night, but not before one of them turned to me, his face shone bright in the light of the moon and instantly I recognized him; Aran. I knew him intimately as he was a brother to my husband for many years. He looked me deep in the eyes, he swayed back and forth, steadying himself on the hilt of his sword and slurred, "Sorry, love, he wa’nt s’possed ta live after wha’ he done” and hobbled off.

I knelt down to my husband’s side and cradled his head the way one would cradle a newborn son. He spat blood at me as he tried to speak and attempted, briefly, to wipe it away. Tears fell from my eyes and swirled with the blood from his chest. We stayed like that until his eventual passing.

A thrall on the river’s edge helped me to lower my husband’s body onto the small boat he built years prior. I placed his possessions atop him, kissed his soft, cold forehead, saturated him with oils and lit his body aflame. The thrall quickly pushed him out to sea and we watched together as the pillar of smoke grew and grew and I thought, just maybe, that would help him get to Valhalla.

Time passed and I made my way to the nearest tavern to drown myself in whatever would take the pain away. The more I drank, the angrier I became. I forgot about the men who killed him, I forgot how much I wanted to watch them die. I drank some more. I can recall being approached by a man who bought me a drink, but what comes next, I don’t quite remember. I woke up in a doorway the next morning with a headache so strong it was as if Thor himself hammered in my skull.
A man was in the room of the doorway I was in, he claimed he did not touch me but gods knew what he did. I cannot trust him; it is now I remember that many men killed my husband. I just never saw their faces. No one can be trusted. I met a few others at the tavern. One, a woman with the name of the goddess of Freyja, and three men, the third looked around shadily and it is him that I need to watch closely. I was taken in by these strangers. I followed them to their home and grateful, I never let down my guard. I still felt vengeance coursing through my veins, I knew somewhat that grief made me vulnerable, and yet anger made me strong and would fuel me to fight when given the chance.

I made way onto a ship with these strangers, in which we were to raid. My husband went on three raids in his lifetime; on one he brought me a golden arm cuff that has not left me since. Time passed by in a blur; I do not remember much of what happened until we made our way back to camp. There were dead men everywhere; each one mimicking my husband’s last pose. All that was left of our ship was a bunt frame, so we made our way into the woods where we were where met with flaming arrows and two familiar faces in a sea of men.
One such man had a gift for us, but the vile smirk we wore led me to believe this wasn’t an ordinary gift. The sack was opened and four bloody heads fell onto the earth. Three I recognized, they lived at our house and although I never spoke to them, I felt immense comfort that they were there. The last, to my dismay, did not look like a head, but a small, deformed ball of some sort. I soon learned that it was the head of an unborn child. The child of the two men to take me in. I mourned for their loss.

We made haste to flee from the attacking raiders and eventually land us a ship to sail back home. But the sea proved merciless and flung us around with no effort. I was soaked, hungry, and exhausted, but the gods had more plans for us that evening when out of the water rose a giant sea serpent..
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Memoirs of a Drifter; Chapter Three
Upon returning from our raid, Magni and I decided to take the wenches to the bar in celebration. There were three strange newcomers inside, the male being particularly suspicious. We tried to make some conversation with them, but hardly got anywhere. One of the women was wastey pants and speaking of nothing but her dead husband. There also happened to be a gambling man at the bar, whom Magni slew by stealthily smashing his face against the bar counter top. He then disposed of his corpse in the river. There was also a man hitting on one of the new ladies, but he, too, was delivered swift punishment, after my unsuccessful attempt to start a bar fight.

Magni gave the drunk, mourning woman some shrooms. From where he got them, I do not know, but they spent the evening together in the tavern. I, however, took the wenches back to the tent and gave them a good fuckening. I awoke the next morning to a rapping at my tent flap. Outside was Assbutt, seeking Magni. I pointed him in the right direction. With my rock-hard throb monster.

I dressed myself and collected Magni before attending court with Skarsgaard. There, we again met the strange three from the tavern. Skarsgaard granted me a sizable farm in return for my sworn fealty. It was perfect for Magni, the wenches three, and I. I allowed the three odd tavern dwellers a place on my homestead, as well, in return for their work.

A week or so passes, and Skarsgaard informs us that there is to be another raid. I decide it is in our best interest to find a suitable guard to keep the wenches safe in our absence. In this time, the shifty stranger living on our farm took it upon himself to search for a suitable wench or two to add to our farm at the local bazaar, and Magni followed two women from the tavern back to their home. That day is the day Magni and I realize our quest; to find the lost fourth wench.

Late that evening, whilst the pounding of the wenches commenced, there came a knocking at our door. I decided to go check it out, opening the door. The night's chill was cool on my exposed giblets. Outside stood a woman who seemed very confused, and promptly left after Magni joined me, meat sword drawn, at the door. We closed the door and turned to find the other guy in our home up and looking very disappointed.

We awoke early to take the newbies to Skarsgaard's raiding ship. We set sail, and the journey was quite easy and enjoyable. We arrived in short time and set up camp. After Assbutt departed in attempt to make a deal with the target of our raid, Skarsgaard came to me. He told me he was questioning Assbutt's motives, and that we should shadow him all the way to the castle to observe him.

Eventually, we tire and turn back to reach the camp before Assbutt returns. We approach camp, only to find all of our men slaughtered, our boat burned, and our supplies gone. We look back to the village to find smoke billowing from there, as well. On our way through the woods to investigate, we see a band of horses ride up, Assbutt in company, being led by Skarsgaard's own brother.

The band of raiders lets loose large volleys of flaming arrows into the woods, setting our surroundings ablaze. It is then that they spot us. They trot over, and Skarsgaard's brother says he has a gift for us. The gift is the severed heads of our wenches. AND A HEAD FROM ONE OF OUR UNBORN CHILDREN. It is at this point that I swear my life to unyielding vengeance.

We can do naught but turn and flee as the raiders move to slay us. Eventually, we get to the bridge separating them from the coast. Skarsgaard tells us to go, that he'll defend the bridge. We leave the river crossing with yet another sorrow.

I lead the group back to our camp, and we track their horses hooves back to the camp of the raiders. There, we fell the few guards they have posted, set their ships to sea, and steal one of our own.

We make haste to sail back home, but perhaps it was a mistake. The sea bucked and churned in a thunderstorm, making our every effort for survival. It was on this black sea that we saw a monstrous sea serpent rise from the watery depths.
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Memoirs of a Drifter; Chapter Two
Finally accepting of Magni and I, Skarsgaard decided to take us on his raid. After saying our farewells to Liv, Kenna, and Siri, we set out to the sea.

It was only several days' trip to our mark. Once we arrived, Angrim (I wish someone would update the wiki so I'd know these names) elected to offer them a compromise; they'd give us gold and we'd allow them to live their lives un-raped and pillaged. Unfortunately, they turned down our gracious offer. So, we set sail to make it seem as though we had left entirely and camped out for a few days.

The night we returned was filled with the thundering of Thor's anvil. We swiftly slaughtered all standing guard. The fools were hardly awake when we took from them their lives. In the cover of the deluge, we moved from house to house, taking what we pleased and ending those who made any opposition. Before long, more guards spilled forth from their barracks. Magni and I made quick work of them. Through the chaos, the flames, and the pouring rain, we saw Skarsgaard engaged with four enemies, struggling to fend them off. Luckily for him, we felled them with several blows. Though, the greatest threat had yet to be seen.

From the keep came a man encased in steel. Even with the four of us against only him, we were locked in a desperate struggle. None of my allies were able to land any solid attacks against the metal man. Booger, that clumsy disgrace of a Norseman, doesn't even know how to swing a damned sword. There was even an instance where he sliced Magni's foot. I nearly defeated the enemy single handed, though, regrettably, Skarsgaard landed the felling blow.. We lost about eight men in the fight. Skarsgaard was upset that they were expecting us. I was upset that our raiders were so weak.
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Journal Entry 1
Dear diary,

That one dude that tried to sell me for ransom is a fucking dick.

EDIT: Varg and I also have to name the wenches...I think they are growing tired of being called One, Two, and Three.
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Memoirs of a Drifter; Chapter One
After a few drinks at some tavern in Odin knows where, I met a man named Magni Bladetooth. I overheard him offering several lovely ladies mystical shrooms. Oh, the sexy times that ensued. Part way through our bedroom adventure, we heard cries about fire. We had to climb out the second story window to escape the flames and were able to save our wenches. Though, the whole town was consumed in a terrible conflagration.

Shortly thereafter, we find an incomprehensible brute, one we had seen in the tavern earlier giving his three-year-old son a pint of beer, being accused of killing a boy. After a bit of antagonizing on my part, I decided to step in and defend the man. I had no real reason, to be honest.

With the town now inhabitable, we had to find a new place to stay. Nothing unusual for my drifter self. Having no preference as to which of the two villages I traveled to, I elected to simply follow my new friend, Magni.

Upon arrival, we were met with some passive hostility from the town. Considering that this new town and the town we left were rivals, this came as no surprise. Magni and I tried to make it known we had no affiliation with the village, but our voices were unheard. That is, until Magni ran a campaign for the role of leadership amongst our band of vagabonds.

Once the leaders came to take the leader into town for discussion, Magni, our women, and I were taken to the Jarl's longhouse. Considering we don't care anything for the town we left from, we decided to offer the rest of our band into slavery for 10gp/slave. Unfortunately, the Jarl did not accept our proposition. It was after this that I found out that Magni is actually Swedish royalty.

With this new information, the Jarl decided to keep us to ransom us off to Magni's father. I mean, it wasn't such a bad thing. They let us keep the wenches, fed us, and had decent housing. I saw that fool from the village outside from the window with his wife and kid, trying to make a fire or something. Man, his wife is an ungrateful cunt. By some miracle, I conveyed a message to this idiot, Booger, I think his name was, to break us out of the long house.

Booger then climbs up the side of the house, only to be spotted by some lady, and then chased around by the guards that were meant to keep us from leaving. Seizing this opportunity, Magni and I grabbed our gear and wenches and split.

Once outside, a strange man in the bushes beckoned us. After little to no deliberation, we decided to follow him to his village. There, the Jarl of this new fucking village, I really need to keep track of these names, says he doesn't trust us and is mad that we were there. By some stroke of unluck, Booger and his family were also in this new village.

So, this Jarl gives us a tent for the night, which Magni and I use appropriately with our wenches, while Booger and his family are left outside. The next morning, we're informed that we need to impress some man named Olav. After inquiring at the tavern, Magni collected a couple of carrots, and we set out to find this mysterious man.

Hearing some rustling, we sprang forth to investigate, finding four men savagely beating another, much larger man. Immediately, Booger and I take up arms against the assailants, deftly slaying two of the sinister snakes before the others ran away screaming. Lucky for us, the large man turned out to be Olav, who Magni then befriended with carrots.

After that, we find out that we have to now impress some guy named Assbutt, which was actually the man who brought us to this village initially. Assbutt tells us we have to sneak into some place and steal a bronze statue, and we oblige without question. We used Booger to distract the "guards" out front, while Magni snuck inside and distracting the lone man in the house. While turned away, I made my entrance, clothed in nothing but my wolf pet. That's my thing. I choked the man out, and proceeded to steal the statue.

We also found some lady at the tavern and tried to set her up with Olav, but he threw up when she talked to him. Overall, fairly successful.
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Pathfinder Core Setting (1st)
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